Yesterday was a bit depressing. It was a suny and warm 60+ degrees in B-Lo, and an equally impressive sunny and warm temp in Ithaca. But where was I? On the couch, indoors. sure I got to go outside for a little bit, but even then my mom made me bundle up and sit on a blanket.
"The Grass is damp and wet," she scolded. I wanted to argue back: so is the shower, but I was still allowed to take one of those yesterday; but thought better of it.
I'm pretty much over the symptoms of both the mono and the strep, the frustrating thing now is just how long I'm supposed to be inactive for. And what the hell does that mean? They keep telling me I can't play contact sports, but if I'm feeling up for it, is running okay? How about lifting at the gym? I know I'm going to be tired for a while -- I'm tired now -- but when can I start doing what? Someone really needs to write an instruction book about this stuff.
But that's not what's really eating me.
There's a list out there of 101 things every Cornellian needs to do before they graduate. It's in some book, and I got it again in an e-mail while a freshman. I was pretty excited then, reading through the list, to have discovered that I had hit a lot of it. I think I was up to 43 things, and there were some others you couldn't do (like meet AR Ammons for breakfast at Temple of Zeus, becuase he had passed away since the list's creation). I felt like I would complete the list before May 2005, my expected departure from the Hill. On Thursday I got a little bit closer -- the EIC is going out of town the weekend of Victory Club, and offered up the complementary tickets the paper gets. I snagged them.
What's so great about Victory Club? It's supposed to be this black tie affair, very posh, very uppity. All the "cool" kids go -- actually I don't know anyone who's gone to Victory Club outside of some of the brothers who run it, which is more the reason why I want to go -- just to see and experience it. It should be a good time, like a big who's who campus cocktail party.
So what am I frustrated about? Finding a date is tough work.
I had been having a rather nice string of cmc (computer mediated communication) conversations with this girl over the facebook.com, so I asked her. I assumed the worst (that she had a boyfriend), and sure enough it looks like she does becuase she shot me down and used him as the reason. I'm not upset or mad, just dissapointed in her limited ability to conceptualize our relationship. If we can be friends in a virtual setting, and talk about things like the Yankees, Cornell and God online, what makes going with and talking to me at Victory Club taboo? Is anything any different outside of the setting? If her boyfriend is worried about me breaking them up in person, what makes me harmless online? I still have all the same thoughts, dreams and anatomical parts -- only the settings change, not the people or the topics.
Through comparison we can further see that the settings aren't really that different. I'm assuming that she uses her facebook account in a private manner, and doesn't necessarily share the exact text of our messages with anyone. Virtually, this can be compared to talking at a corner table of a restuarant. Our conversation is secluded and intimate in both places (online and in our imaginary resturant setting), and in neither are we truly bothered by outside or overhearing conversational attaches. Comparing both of these settings -- our virtual corner, and restuarant table -- to the Victory Club setting, there is some noticeable change however.
If anything, our social interactions would be more reserved and more guarded while at the formal than while online. This is due to the presence of others, social onlookers who would force us to behave in the norms dicated by the situation. Clearly, even if I had the intentions to, we wouldn't be engaged in things viewed negatively by her boyfriend (i.e. sexually charged conduct on the dance floor) becuase it's not what the social norms of the evening allow. From all angles, their relationship would actually appear to be less in danger if we met in person than online, becuase it deflates all the mystery and social ambiguity from the situation.
(Ambiguity has long been thought to be one of the driving forces behind online chat and dating sites, becuase it allows us to portray a different side of ourselves than we can in person. The bald man can pretend to have hair, the woman can pretend to be a man. We are excited, boldened, and empowered by the possibilities that these new roles offer us. It all drives us forward in our online interactions. We are enthralled with the steps and rythm of our new social dance -- our conversational tangoes.)
Online situations are so perplexing. I'm definitely going to have to focus in on this in my honors thesis next year. In the meantime, if you are a fun-loving female (class of '06 and up please) who likes to dance, can carry on conversation from topics ranging from politics to the infield fly rule, isn't looking for any kind of sexual hijinks, and would like to go to Victory Club, please feel free to contact me. I've got the tux and tickets, I just need a date.
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