Trouble Sleeping

I always seem to have issues going to bed on the weekends. I feel like if I get to sleep, I'm going to miss something big. It's a rediculous feeling, the anxiety. Right now I'm sitting in my room, alone in the apartment, with work piling up around me, and my biggest fear is missing this mysterious and unkown "something."

I think part of it stems from me feeling that I need to make up for lost time. I managed to come back and finish up the academic semester, but with the illness I've found myself becoming more withdrawn. Some of it is a physical thing -- I just can't make it to the fraternity house and back, or to upper collegetown for that friend's party. I've become the definition of lame, both physically and socially.

But then there are the other issues. I just don't feel social. It's hard when you keep catching colds. It's hard to be jovial and joke around when you're constantly reaching for tissues, or getting dizzy. Things are much better now, even than just a week ago, which I think is what adds to the anxiety. I also feel that the "something" isn't necessarily an event as it is a person, like that new great friend or romantic interest.

I've been doing a lot of reading about the sociological and psychological impacts of humor. Humor is apparently more affective with highly masculine personalities (independent, and dominating people -- not necessarily just males). The Comm theories aren't all that helpful, but do break down humor into clownish humor and wit. Apparently those who demonstrate clownish humor quickly build their popularity, yet don't hold any sway over their peers. Those who demonstrate wit don't help their popularity (haven't figured out if they hurt it yet either), but there are some prestige effects. People view witty friends or aquaintances as more influential, more intelligent. The Comm studies also delve into the learning effects associated with laughter. Very interesting stuff, and suprisingly it's relatively unexplored (although it's not surprising that no one ever took humor seriously). I think I may have found a focus area for my thesis. Perhaps combining a CMC element would help narrow the field ...