I think I'll be able to breathe next Thursday. Next Wednesday is my only final, but I've also got quite a few papers to finish before then, one of which is due today at 5 p.m., and I've only got one part answered so far (of five). It's 8 a.m., however, so I'm not incredibly worried. I am actually not worried or motivated at all, something that is a bit disturbing.
I remember wondering how I used to pull all-nighters, and how they seemed easier to manage sophomore year. Now most of you are probably painting this picture of me, procrastinating so that I had to pull an all-nighter. In actuality, my work at the Daily Sun necesitated them. I'd be there from 5 p.m. until 3 a.m. most nights I desked, which means that by the time I took the flats over to the printing press and walked up the hill it was 4 a.m. Then I would usually finish up an assignment or two, putting the time at 6 a.m. Rather than try for an hour or two of sleep, I just stayed up. I didn't trust my alarm on those sleepless mornings, it usually didn't wake me up when I had gotten eight hours or so.
So last night, I had the option of working through until dawn, or going to bed and getting up early. I chose the latter. I just couldn't imagine staying up any later. I had been falling asleep since I woke up, and I couldn't imagine trying to pound out five pages past midnight.
I think it's the mono. It's been holding me back lately, even though I'm in week eight. I still feel lethargic and tired. I still need more sleep. I still have a sore throat. I still pick up every cold that goes around campus. I'm waiting for a change of scenery with baited breath, and am close to counting down the days until I head home. I know I'm coming back here for reunion, but it'll still be nice to be home for a week or two.
Most people here understand my recent mode of thinking. They've come to accept that fact that no matter what they want out of me -- work, writing, friendship -- I've (tried to) put my studies and health on the top of my list as I finish the semester. They've come to accept tha fact that I'm not going to always comply with their requests on my time. They understand why I say no when I've picked up that latest cold ... for the second time. Recently, however, I ran into a few people who couldn't understand why it took me so long to finish a project. It's study week, I didn't have any exams in their mind, so I should have had plenty of time to finish it up. Said project, however, is for an extra cirricular activity which right now is at the bottom of the list. I'd rather spend another night desking at The Daily Sun and be up until 6 a.m. doing work than finish this thing up. It'll get done -- I usually finish what I start, but I'm not going to try to squeeze it in amongst papers and group projects for class. Nor am I going to sacrifice sleep. I don't like to tell people I have mono, but the ones that matter know. Now these people do, too.
No comments:
Post a Comment