Thursday, August 21, 2003

Shuffling Stuff

Tonight a friend proclaimed that their defining moment of happiness had occurred. It was described as better than the first communion, becoming an uncle, and even the "first kiss."

Now my real first kiss was from a sultry brunette, and definitley had a lot of magic, so at first I doubted his proclamation. Then I accepted it, realizing that if what he said was true, I should be happy for him. Then I began to think ... what is my happiest moment?

There have been a lot of cool things, prizes, accomplishments, elections, people, friends, family ... but can I pick one ultimate moment? I can tell you the last time I truly smiled (see my first post on this site), but I can't call it my best moment. It was bittersweet at best, I mean, I haven't seen her since.

Then I got to thinking about the big stuff. High school graduation was sad because of Tim (deserving of its own post, sometime in the near future). My last high school concert wasn't happy, I was glad it was done. My last track meet was a dissapointment. I PR'd earlier in the season. Childhood moments? Birthdays?

And that's where I've possibly nailed it. My sixth birthday was my "happiest" moment becuase I was still blissfully unaware. I recieved all the toys I wanted as gifts, everyone -- family and friends -- got along, and I even had a dinosaur cake. How can you top that?

After six? Math in school got hard. Some friends turned into bullies. Heck, things just got progressively worse.

You can't call it innocence lost -- I never lost my innocence. I shed it with the death of a friend. I had to order flowers for the funeral, what I consider to be my first adult act. Childhood was truly lost then.

But six is when it stopped being peaches and cream. Sure there were days after that with peaches, days with cream, and even some with both. But not like before six.

Of course, there's so much ahead, and I could definitley see a good LSAT score, acceptance to a great summer internship, or even finding someone special as topping my current moment.

Although the look all over my brother's face when I spit on the cake was priceless...

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So Dylan and Jevon arrived (sorry Jevon, you'll be first next time), and so far their move-in has been painless. Earlier this evening I joined Kajsa, Jackie and Reina in the common room, while waiting for the twins. They entered, we quickly hashed out business, (re)picked rooms, and moved some stuff around.

We're still looking for the key to our basement, which Graham hid while drunk. I don't quite understand fully, I also was not present for the incident. I'd like to find the key so I could have my bike.

More on Blair Hornstine -- today I did my tour of the Network Operations Center at Cornell, and Jeff Lehman was there -- he doesn't know anything (sorry if that was anti-climactic, it wouldn't be the first time someone called my finish dull...)

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Everyone on IM was pretty strange tonight. Most had moving away or packing as their messages, adding in the requisite similey face to show they'd miss all their high school friends. I found myself thinking that was pathetic, but I was later corrected.

After moving Jevon's bed, I returned to my computer to find five IM windows. Four from college friends, but one was from Kate Pulley -- the high school dream girl.

Now don't think me perverted or hopelessly lost in the past. I'm no longer attracted to Kate the way I once was. Also don't confuse this with any flaws she might have, you'd have trouble finding them. She's still blonde, pretty, athletic, and wholesome.

Anyway, the IM reminded me of all the cool people from high school I never get to see anymore. Maybe they're just cool beucase of that fact, but I doubt it. They were cool becuase they were different -- still are. In my mind, those differences mean they're still cool.

Andy Brown, Courtney Bajdas, and Kate are all prime examples of people who make me stop and think. Whenever I hear good clarinet music, see a fiesty woman's guard on the court, or see a blond girl in fleece, I stop and think of those three, respectively. It's the curiosity of it all.

And in truth, I may never know what happens to these people. It's something that I'm not happy about, but I've also come to accept it.

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I also met Rachel's boyfriend tonight. I know that she wouldn't really care, but I'm going to let her know that I approve. Scott is a really cool guy, and you'll probably read more about him and his booming god-like voice in future posts. I forsee fun evenings, philosophical conversations, and maybe even some good roadtrips...

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I miss Matt Nagowski. He was a social glue, and without him I haven't run into Phil, or Dan at all (well Dan is admittedly out of town). Still, Matt was truly the hub in our summer social system. Hopefully we can do one more polar bear swim club before it gets too cold.

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