(Warning -- the first part of this is Whiny -- for a substantial update, skip to the next section)
So the other night, a friend (Jackie) asked why a nice guy like me didn't have a girlfriend. I really couldn't answer the question. I suppose part of it deals with my inability to committ, and part of it stems from the fact that it's just hard to meet people at Cornell.
But it was nice she asked. She also made the comment that I should be getting laid regularly. It's nice to know someone else agrees...
We both happened to be at Bar night, and she ad just asked if I'd be a partner with one of her pledges for a game. I said sure, I figured I had nothing to lose. As it turned out, I didn't have much to gain either.
The girl was named Anna, and happened to be from Williamsville (a town back home, for those of you not familiar with B-lo). She was a freshman, and sported the typical "I'm too good for this guy" attitude. She even told Jackie that I was mean (?!?). We both sucked at the game we were playing, so Jackie and Jason (her boyfriend, and my pledge brother) were winning pretty handily. Of course, I took the blame for our team's poor performance, and when my some of Anna's friends offered to take over for me, I gladly let them.
My mind was elsewhere, particularly on the curly blonde haired girl in the other room.
We have a fair amount of attractive girls wander in and out of the house for Bar night, so when this one was in line to get a drink I was content to watch and day dream about things that would never happen ... like conversation...
But then it happened. She and her two friends happened to come on over, and I noticed she was checking me out. I was pretty excited but gave it another few minutes before confirming that she was actually checking me out. I glanced over a little while later, and sure enough she was still looking at me, and kind of smiling. She hadn't even gotten her drink yet.
So when two other brothers I was talking with turned to talk to them, I was stuck on the outside looking in. She pulled me into the conversation, though, reaching past them to ask me a question. I couldn't believe this. I was in the conversation, and things were going well.
She was there with her friend Allie, who I recognized as one of the regulars, and one other girl who I didn't remember. We chatted for a while, I apologized for not remembering their names, and we kept the conversation going.
But all the while she was still wearing her fleece -- not a good sign in the "are you sticking around for a while" department. As it turned out, she was also popular, and kept getting calls from other guys (all Freshman, though) asking where she was and how they would get there.
But we kept chatting it up, and she never really left. There were two other guys hanging around her all night, and both were freshmen, with one presenting himself serious competiton. He clearly already knew her, but they weren't dating, just having a good time. Eventually she (let slip/said) that she'd never date a younger guy. I'm not sure if this was her way of giving me a green light for asking for her number, and me not being swift in the dating vernacular department, I didn't ask for it.
So yeah, that's it. There's no grand conclusion. I didn't walk her home, almost hold hands with her, look at photos of her ex-boyfriend, or get her screen name. It was just something that I was excited about, and made me smile for a while. Hey -- you're the one reading this, so don't complain to me about content.
So did I dream about her -- is that where the title of the entry comes from? No.
Last night I had a dream about Briton, my pseudo high-school girlfriend. I say pseudo becuase we had a few dates before we both left for college, but that was about it. She also came to visit me freshman year, got hit on by every guy at a party we went to, and made all of the guys on my floor really jealous. H (Haymaenth - sp?) kept talking about her for the rest of the semester. She was definitely one to remember, but we lost touch, and I haven't seen her since two summers ago.
She was a thin brunette, about 5-7, with an olive complextion and dark eyes. Sultry would be a good word to describe her. She danced for fun, which is why she was in such good shape (see tight "everything"), and was easy to have a conversation with. We were comfortable with each other, and that's really what made it such a great (though limited, and short lived) relationship.
She's also set the bar for every other girl to measure up to since.
So last night, after spending the weekend with Ip, Owen, and Christine (the Photo editor) covering the hockey games, I came home, ate some cookies and went to bed. Then I had a dream about her.
She was hot, like always. I was in a computer lab somewhere, and she walked in the door. I was also surrounded by a bunch of girls who thought less of me (but I didn't care, the feeling was mutual). Briton walks in, comes over to me and sits in my lap. Everyone else in the room drops their jaw on the floor.
It was a great dream, and I don't remember what I was showing her on the computer, but I do remember being happy in it. It was hard not to be happy around her.
---
Prelims this week. I've got two of them, on top of some other quasi-nausating assingments to be done. I'm just hoping to do well on the prelims. Bill and Mary Ann have been nagging me for a while about my GPA, becuase semesters of "3.4" aren't good enough for them. It's just a pain in the ass.
Internship applications also need to go in soon. My Dept. Chair finally got back to me about submitting a letter of reccomendation for my attendance at a Journalism conference. The only problem is that the letter was due last Monday. He wants to meet tomorrow, where I'll tell him we missed the deadline, and then ask if I can have a different letter for an internship. I'm not sure how he's going to take it.
I've also only got four more times to desk. I'm really excited, beucase after that I can get some normal sleep patterns established, and resume going to my 9:05s.
I suppose in the end, it's just all frustrating. I feel like I'm really close to getting out of Cornell with everything I want -- an honors thesis, an acceptance to a top 20 law school, and possibly "honors." Still, I can feel things slipping away, and no matter how far I go to try to hold onto them, or tread water, it feels like I'm still drowning.
We ate at KFC last night in Albany, and I was estatic to see that they had parfaits. It reminded me of the times when Grandma and Grandpa would come and take me out to lunch on half-days of school. I had a parfait, and for three minutes I was six again, sitting there with Jake and Julie, reliving the glory days of legos and crayola crayons.
Then I finished the parfait, got indegestion, and realized how much everything sucks right now.
*sigh*
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